This was stuck in draft mode, was suppossed to be published 8/19/13
ok, so just stream of consciousness going here. what have we done? we have taken in a probably? dissociative boy and done dxm with him twice and have had sex with him twice and he basically lives at our house now. o m g. and i think i love him. i don't even know him. i am so full of shit wtf am i dooooooooooooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggg?
oddly, i feel incredibly calm because i am still high on dxm. so, for the past few months, obvio,usly, we've been using dxm, doing our own therapy, watching art and learning to accept ourselves, all while fairly maintaining? a life. at least a job of 4 hours a week? hah hah hah ah ahhhahhhhahhah and we make it to therapy every time. and we do good shit. But we are dissociative as fuck. Many, many fucking compartments. Here comes the capitalizer, who's that? Fuck Offf. Okey dkey.
anyway. ok, so on wednesday, we went to walgreens per usual to pick up dxm, before I went in i was sitting in the car on my phone and saw two dudes, bros, ya, walk through the parking lot and I thought, huh, they are up to something. Not bad per se , just something. No biggie, just a notice. Then I got off the phone went in, and went to my favorite aisle, and there are two young grungy guys with an empty cart looking both oddly happy and perplexed in front of the cough syrup aisle. So. So. So. I hear them say they aren't sure what to get, and the dark haired one looks at me and says something like "You look like you might be able to help us."
And I'm like... um. Yes. So Science Brain comes out and asks, "You're looking for DXM, right?" Just like that, cool as a fucking cucumber, as if it is totally normal to be talking about my deepest darkest secret in the bright white flourescent daylight of the cough medicine aisle of walgreens. Damn.
"YeAH!"
I point at the stuff, the pure dxm without the guenefisin and other shit. and say something like"That's the stuff."
They look at me, still slightly nonplussed, but excited. We are all speaking the same language here, and it's fun to fucking do it in public. Fuck you, The Man.
I look at what they have in their hands and it's Coricidin Cold and Cough. And I know I've read about triple C's, but I also know I read to stay away from any extra crap/meds if you can and take only dxm. And the Coricidin has at least Guanefesin in it, and probably acetometophin and other shit you don't need and will fucking kill you and your liver, whichever dies first. I say to them, "You can't take that stuff. That stuff has poison in it, it will kill your liver." There are two of them, dark hair and blue eyes. it's like a rocket or a flare goes off in blue eyes eyes. I literally see it flash in his eyes. I say, have you been on erowid? blue eyes says, yeah! dark hair assents. but it's blue eyes who knows. I say, they say it on there, you have to take the stuff with only dxm, no other meds, otherwise you will poison yourself with the extras. I point again at the pure walgreens knock of cough pills- "those are the ones." I grab two for myself, but they somehow don't' notice in their newfound knowledge excitement. i ask, "do you live around here?" to both of them, but dark hair answers, he's the one in charge. "oh, yeah, i live over there a few blocks." I say, "Cool, I live the other direction, toward Wilton Manors." code. it's all code. i'm feeling them out. they are feeling me out. are we gonna play? i guess i fold because i just walk away toward the ice cream aisle.
i fake browse for a few seconds, trying to get my spinning brain to calm down. did that just happen? did i just talk about dxm in public with two strangers in front of some middle aged woman browsing for an ankle brace? wtf just happened? i'm still reeling and dark hair comes to me in the bright white freezer aisle and asks me, hey, "we should get your number?" and i fucking give it to them. i give them my real goddamn number. and dark hair calls my phone which i had left in the car, because i had planned to only be in walgreens for a second.
this is amazing. amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg. i never open up to people. never. especially not two drugged out boys looking to get fucked up at the local walgreens. wearing dirty t shirts and cargo pants. with beautiful blue eyes. what the fuck was i thinking? i stayed in numb mode, because i was pretty sure if i started feeling i would want to punch myself in the face. so i down the dxm and do a mild trip, and TEXT THEM TWICE while high appropriately, just to check in. I was gonna see if they were going to ask me to join, but i wasn't sure, and if they did i didn't know what i would say, but thankfully they didn't. we just swapped mg amounts and went on our merry way.
ok, so just stream of consciousness going here. what have we done? we have taken in a probably? dissociative boy and done dxm with him twice and have had sex with him twice and he basically lives at our house now. o m g. and i think i love him. i don't even know him. i am so full of shit wtf am i dooooooooooooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggg?
oddly, i feel incredibly calm because i am still high on dxm. so, for the past few months, obvio,usly, we've been using dxm, doing our own therapy, watching art and learning to accept ourselves, all while fairly maintaining? a life. at least a job of 4 hours a week? hah hah hah ah ahhhahhhhahhah and we make it to therapy every time. and we do good shit. But we are dissociative as fuck. Many, many fucking compartments. Here comes the capitalizer, who's that? Fuck Offf. Okey dkey.
anyway. ok, so on wednesday, we went to walgreens per usual to pick up dxm, before I went in i was sitting in the car on my phone and saw two dudes, bros, ya, walk through the parking lot and I thought, huh, they are up to something. Not bad per se , just something. No biggie, just a notice. Then I got off the phone went in, and went to my favorite aisle, and there are two young grungy guys with an empty cart looking both oddly happy and perplexed in front of the cough syrup aisle. So. So. So. I hear them say they aren't sure what to get, and the dark haired one looks at me and says something like "You look like you might be able to help us."
And I'm like... um. Yes. So Science Brain comes out and asks, "You're looking for DXM, right?" Just like that, cool as a fucking cucumber, as if it is totally normal to be talking about my deepest darkest secret in the bright white flourescent daylight of the cough medicine aisle of walgreens. Damn.
"YeAH!"
I point at the stuff, the pure dxm without the guenefisin and other shit. and say something like"That's the stuff."
They look at me, still slightly nonplussed, but excited. We are all speaking the same language here, and it's fun to fucking do it in public. Fuck you, The Man.
I look at what they have in their hands and it's Coricidin Cold and Cough. And I know I've read about triple C's, but I also know I read to stay away from any extra crap/meds if you can and take only dxm. And the Coricidin has at least Guanefesin in it, and probably acetometophin and other shit you don't need and will fucking kill you and your liver, whichever dies first. I say to them, "You can't take that stuff. That stuff has poison in it, it will kill your liver." There are two of them, dark hair and blue eyes. it's like a rocket or a flare goes off in blue eyes eyes. I literally see it flash in his eyes. I say, have you been on erowid? blue eyes says, yeah! dark hair assents. but it's blue eyes who knows. I say, they say it on there, you have to take the stuff with only dxm, no other meds, otherwise you will poison yourself with the extras. I point again at the pure walgreens knock of cough pills- "those are the ones." I grab two for myself, but they somehow don't' notice in their newfound knowledge excitement. i ask, "do you live around here?" to both of them, but dark hair answers, he's the one in charge. "oh, yeah, i live over there a few blocks." I say, "Cool, I live the other direction, toward Wilton Manors." code. it's all code. i'm feeling them out. they are feeling me out. are we gonna play? i guess i fold because i just walk away toward the ice cream aisle.
i fake browse for a few seconds, trying to get my spinning brain to calm down. did that just happen? did i just talk about dxm in public with two strangers in front of some middle aged woman browsing for an ankle brace? wtf just happened? i'm still reeling and dark hair comes to me in the bright white freezer aisle and asks me, hey, "we should get your number?" and i fucking give it to them. i give them my real goddamn number. and dark hair calls my phone which i had left in the car, because i had planned to only be in walgreens for a second.
this is amazing. amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg. i never open up to people. never. especially not two drugged out boys looking to get fucked up at the local walgreens. wearing dirty t shirts and cargo pants. with beautiful blue eyes. what the fuck was i thinking? i stayed in numb mode, because i was pretty sure if i started feeling i would want to punch myself in the face. so i down the dxm and do a mild trip, and TEXT THEM TWICE while high appropriately, just to check in. I was gonna see if they were going to ask me to join, but i wasn't sure, and if they did i didn't know what i would say, but thankfully they didn't. we just swapped mg amounts and went on our merry way.
