Wednesday, September 25, 2013

There is a problem

Okay, a lot of stuff to write on here.  I am high on dxm and benadryl, and I have double thought myself into quite a knot.  Threr is a problem with Gina and Jeanette.  and me.  and that may be one of the reasons I've been so wonky lateley.  A boundary violation while we were at IOP Gina was seeing Jeanette privately.  And no one ever talked about it.  it was a secret.  and that is a problem.  and i think i am going to have to call gina out on it. 

but, i am high, so we will let it marinateed a little longer ( ala Kissing Jessica Stein).   But I think this may have been one of the slivers of glass in my foot for a lng time. 

I also want to not the similarities in outward affect and behavior of socio/psychopaths and someon with DID.  Both are chamelions, but one is a chamelion because they are scared and one is doing it on purpose.  Or can it be both?  Basiclly, the question is , whci was my mother? 

dr bill was a faker.  he didnt have to be, but thats what he chose to do.  please dont let Gina be a faker.  Well, even if she is, I learned a lot forom her.  But I see Narcissim creeping up with the twitter feed shit.  Not good.  Not Good.  Fabebook and titter are about "pay attention to me!" sometimes.  I know it cn also be about getting the wsorkd out and stuff., but seems narcissistic to be posting shit that is just feel good platitudes.  You can get that anywheree, but you are drawing attentiuon to yourself.  look at me.  not good. not good at all.   also, shes banding us together as "butterflies" and thats not good either.  no secret societies.  no.  alumni, yes, society no.  Whew, that felt good to get off my chest.  Now, how do I go about fixing this.  ????????  I meditatie on it all this weekend.  And you tell Jeanette that you love rher, but you have to work some stuff out and it is nothing personal, but you need more time.  And you are sad about India Arie, cause you would like to go, but you cant.  And we will revist this decision whe we are sober.  But wejust had to get this down. 

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