Easter Egg Hunts

My lyrics are a big bunch
of Easter Egg hunts
I am the White Rabbit
but I don't wear sexy sexist bunny ears
I don't attach and wiggle a cotton ball tail
Oh, no, I FIRESTART so hot you sweat tears
Wet and Wilde wearing top hat and tails
In mi profesore glasses
smart and such
Yeah, I'm MC Aslan looking at my watch
but I am not late,
Wizard McKellan exactly where and when I mean to be
A feline MC
I'm on time, I'm on rhyme
The female Gandalf, yep, on the beat.
Yep, period, yep, period, yep, period,
Yep.
Get it yet?
I'm hiding eggs

Red tents where I hatch my schemes
And yep, I take it from all teams
But no little brood here, I am latex clean
Born a chick but not Chicken Little.
The sky is not falling, I AM
molting and molten
A fucking Phoenix Peacock
I am John, Jane and Sherlock

Blue and pink turnt to wow
Grrl to boi to "who the fuck now?"
Yeah, that's one way to get reknown
Throwing shade as I pass out
Face plant, grass stained frown

But I Get Up
Get on Up
Get Up
Get on Up
Learnt from my go-go mother
Dancing me on her hip
Putting baby down to James Brown

Yep I've lost, I've slid, I've slipped
But, I I I LIVED
I met and defeated IT, Derry's King Clown
Hashtag: Put a pounding down
Rotting lying sewer scum is where my genes come from
Cut family off, listen to the silence hum

Hunting seasons begun for a reason
Rapunzel has shaved, is clueless but clear
What to do? No fear.
Look for meaning among our roots, my dear

Diamonds on the soles of my shoes Thats one way to lose these walking blues
Learnt listening to Paul Simon's cues
I got my "physics voice" wailin
Learnt from Ellie Arroway through Carl Sagan
Got my pride jumpstarted by riotgrrls who took no shit
Ani, Tracy, Dolly,
Bitch I'm Madonna to Hedwig

Moshing with the good old boys, split my lip
Headlining now I bleed while I spit
Mic bloody, write bloody
Music, Fiction, Physics and
Poetry,
you saved me.
I Am A Rock, you can't hurt me
But now an island lonely

So put a mic on me
Im ailin, im illin,
I need Contact
I'm not fuckin chillin
I am alone to my bones
Needing some rabble rouser voices
To help me get home.

I am a boi Queen, a grrl King
Screaming my bling
Flinging priceless mings
The FIRESTARTER
So much heat I got my whole life to rise up upon
On the soles of my shoes di i i iamonds
Phoenix use the currents from the blaze to
Fly away
Like the waves you see on the black highway
Undulating and unclear?
No dear
Hot and clearing
Searing
A spicy broth
Drink it up
To heal and
Come
home

What home?
My bro and yo never had a home
If home means safety
If home means hugs
If home means body
If home means trust
We never had a home.

So sorry to be pouring the tea
But not really
How u like easter now?
That tea is hitting, pow
Better hit up Tre Melvin
See if he needs a grip or somethin
Bee Cuz, Cuz, u gotta get one,
A Grip
You are a motherless child
Your whole life- Jason Bourne
Even though all you saw was hatred and porn
You have had to teach yourself love
Your Self love
Your Self live

Love Your Self
Live Your Selves

Te quiero? No
Me quiero. Now.
Ahora, mi chica
Not later
For later you will be dead
For realz, not just in the head or in the feels.
Suicide is painless, but getting there is torture
And each day you climb steadily Closer
Throw the Gilbert ring,
the false-face bling into
Mount Doom
Don't throw you!

Singing Samwise BoiGrrl King!
You outshone The Shining
Now lets live and sequel that bitch
Get to writing!

Got a cold? Watch Victor Victoria and Write!

So, got a massive head cold, maybe the flu.  And that's sort of good because it is slowing down my self-sabotage and drug/alcohol use.  I have been on a Reign of Terror (Tara Rain) for quite a while and have now gotten myself almost to zero.

Actually I am less than zero.

Here's the new Poem I'm working on.  Called The Hospital:  The First Visit to Underland

The First Visit to Underland

The first time I went to the hospital never happened

At least according to my mother

I was thirty four.  

I was never there. 

I was never up all night the night before, 

panicking, believing

that the electricity in the walls could read my mind

and the listeners were NOT kind...

that the people on TV were dead and puppets

that the colors red and blue were nations of thought

that the red was bad, the blue was good

And I didn't crawl on the floor of my apartment, screaming

looking through the cat door at the policemans shoes

my eye through the opening like Alice

Refusing to open the human door, 

because The Man's shoe leather was cheap and scuffed,

so I COULDN'T believe their shiny badges.

I didn't know this then, but I had been trained to spot a ringer at a mile early on

Use my charming smile like a gun and Run, or 

FIGHT.  

Never give in, never.

You have a little brother, and he can't walk, can't even talk yet, yet, yet.

So you have to wait until you're bigger

Until then You are a slave

Save yourself, save your brother, SAVE

You have to be BRAVE.  You have to Wait in the Cut.  Yes, yes, yes.

Cut them with your razor teeth. CUT. Cut, cut, cut.

"We should have killed them all", said my little one with the SAND 

But I didn't know that then, in real time, not before.

that's probably when the screaming began

Alice had always been standing guard in her pinafore

Arms strapped behind her back

with a bloody knife in her handcuffed hand

Didn't know about my Underland.

I wasn't tackled to the ground raving when they finally broke in

(I had neglected to lock the human door

thought i was safe in my cheshire cat position)

I wasn't slapped in cuffs, a 250 pound man-knee in my back.

RED and BLUE lights, Red and Blue lights, Red and Blue lights.  

Strobe Swirl Strobe Swirl across my aching eyes

An affront to the early morning sunlight, 

My mind breaking dawn

As the neighbors came out to lawn watch

the insanity spawn 

The outer din mimicking my inner spin

My REVOLUTION.

I wasn't shoved and stuffed into the back of a black and white, 

Terrified

To be delivered to the doors of the place I never went

and went there for a week.

The North wing I think, the bad one.

A whole new Vista in Gainesville for me

I didn't see a man growl like a dog and lift his leg to pee

on the floor.

I didn't see another continually

Take his shirt off and dance a suggestive dance 

to the orderlies

I didn't stay up all night because I was so scared of being in such a place

Where folx had lost their human faces

And the staff were just poorly paid mercenaries

Far from helping, just fools

Nurse ratchet tools

I didn't wait until the dead of night to cry in the shower. 

All of my false bourgeoisie  

power 

washing down the drain with my tears

My parent's fame gone, thank god.

Goodbye, Engineer

So long

So long in the corner of the dirty tiled floor naked, until the water turned cold

I shook and I did not understand.  

This visit that never happened

Covered up with my mother-lawyers gab of glib

This was to be just the first hospital visit that never happened

Frozen I did not understand

This was just the first

Just the First 

Visit to Underland.

Bad night? Or bad life?

I am having yet another really feeling all alone kind of night.  stood up to people cutting on transgenders online and got called a c***. And then not one person in the thread stood up for me.  I don't know what else I I'm supposed to do. I know that whatever I'm doing is wrong.  I'm so unhappy.