Sunday, November 1, 2009

I am still not high

It's been at least a half hour since I swallowed the DXM, and I'm still not feeling it.  Ugh.  I just want to be out of my brain RIGHT NOW.  Must wait more.

Have you ever seen "Door in the Floor"?  I vibrate in sympathy with that movie.  Sympathy, not empathy.  Part of it I know is that I went to boarding school like the boy.  And I was poor like the boy, so any job seemed like a gift from the benevolant gods of Society.  I get that.

But somehow the movie also captures the loneliness, awkwardness and isolation that I feel NOW.  Although I also felt it when I was 15 at Andover.  But I identify as much with the Kim Basinger and Jeff Bridges characters as I do with the boy's.

I wish I owned that movie, I'd like to watch it now.  It would validate my feelings of emptiness.

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