So, it's almost a complete week since I last posted here.
And I'm going to admit myself to detox/rehab tomorrow. I waited until I could tie up all my loose ends- my cat's care, my classes, and most importantly, my job. So, I told my boss on Thursday that I was going to substance abuse treatment for the next 3 weeks. Which is a lie, because it's only 2 weeks. But i can't seem to utter a word without it being a lie, so who gives a fuck.
My boss (Tod) (seemed to be) extremely understanding, and told me about how this is the right time to do this before I got licensed and things could really go bad. And I told him how the Jerrod thing really scared the shit out of me. Jerrod was fired for coke after he had already been through our company's paid rehab. I don't want that to be me.
So yeah, now I am a total fuck up. And I am drinking tonight to fulfill that definition. If only my shrink would follow through with me tonight, I could definitely complete the total picture.
Maybe I should try to find his apartment tonight and show up. What would he do?
He would have no idea because somehow he missed that training during his M.D. training. Yeah, right. But that's what he said.
So, I am trashed right now. Wish I wasn't but I am. So now I'm going to ride my bike to his apartment and see what happens.
Am I going to do this? I'm not sure yet. I'm going to change first, then maybe get back to you.
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