Maybe not completely change your life. Or maybe so... "The Graduate" changed my life when I was a teenager. And Paul Simon's "Negotiations and Love Songs" changed my life when I was a teenager as well. Yes, I know that is an album, not a movie, but whatever.
So yeah. I went to see A Single Man tonight, starring (my pretend husband) Colin Firth. Bonus: Colin was playing a dapper, intelligent, and educated gay man. Swoon.
Anyway, Colin's character lost his long-time partner and was planning on killing himself. But he didn't. I'm not going to go into the plot of the entire movie- but it moved me and made me feel a little better about being alive.
(I then went to see "The Book of Eli" and was not as moved. Cheesy and formulaic. Cinematography was excellent, though.)
So, I'm still alive and (barring any mid-night tragedies) will be alive in the morning as well. I am going to ride my bike to the beach and get some sun and exercise. I am also going to write about what has been going on in my brain this week. I want to write about my anger towards Cheryl and J. I am really, really pissed that I was ignored and not cared for. My feelings were really hurt. It makes me not trust either of them very much right now. Which really sucks, because I have to trust them to get better. Or maybe I don't? I don't know. Can you not trust your therapists, hate their guts for being mean to you and still get better? We'll see.
All I know is I'm going to lay it on the line. I've had it with bullshit, lying and beating around the bush. Which seems to be my theme for the past few months. Hell, it's what got me sober and to the hospital. If only it had gotten me a little more sane :-)
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