"I am a loser geek
crazy with an evil streak
yes I do believe there
is a violent thing inside of me
she is just a girl
she is doing what she can
she dances topless
when she's not playing in a band..."
OK, so combine both those characters and you have me. Damn do I love Everclear. The lead singer is a great lyricist. And an OK guitar player. And he was definitely fucked with when he was growing up. Many, many of his songs deal with being an adult with childhood issues. I love him.
I was too much of a chicken to go see them play at the Garlicfest this weekend. I'm worried I'll pick up somebody or use or both. So instead I sit on my computer and make mixes. Whoot. I am a rock star.
So I have eaten nothing today but ice cream and soy sausage. Oh so healthy and tasty. I need to eat something real or go to bed... Yeah, probably eat something.
So I haven't cut in almost a week. yay. But I still want to, badly. Oh well.
I left IOP early on Friday afternoon. I was getting incredibly angry and just couldn't sit in the room anymore. I HATE inner child stuff. It really sets me off. I was able to hold it together until we went to break, then left. So I didn't make a scene. I just told two people still in the room that I was too tired to be there and left.
So I am bored out of my skull. BORED, BORED, BORED. And I am in trouble when I'm bored. So, I guess I'll go for a run. I have a whopper of a cold, but fuck it, I can't stand being indoors anymore. I'm going crazy.
Good night.
PS: I'm making yet another song playlist- this time for Dr. Jack/Carol/Sheryl, all my counselors. Just a grouping of fun, farcical and uplifting songs about people who've been abused and hate themselves.
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