Let it Begin

Alright, here goes. My first page of my first blog. I'm starting this for myself, as I seem to write more on the computer (on Facebook) than I ever do in my physical paper journal.

So, I think, let's do the blog thing instead of a journal, maybe I can get some of the confusion and vitriol out this way.

Bad grammar, bad attitude. Maybe that's what I should call this blog. We'll see.

So, it's titled Let it Begin. But really it should be, Where to Begin.


I am starting this to get through my feelings about my doctor. No, I am never going to say his name. I am never going to say where he works, where I work, what town we're in, or any other leading clues. I'm not here to destroy him or get him in trouble. And he wouldn't anyway as he hasn't done anything to get himself into trouble.  And probably never will.

But, I do have to come up with a name for him for the blog. Let's see, what'll it be. How about F. Just F. F as in infatuation. Ha, yes I know that it doesn't start with F, but it recalls the sound. So F.

F is my psychiatrist. I am in love with him. Or I am in lust with him. If we want to get clinical, I am suffering one whopping case of transference. And I'm hoping he's got some counter-transference going on.

I'm such a dweeb that I want F to read this and know. But he won't because, well because.

I tried to add him on Facebook. How ridiculous. I am not a teenage girl by the way. I just act like one and try to add my shrink on Facebook. He's not accepted me. Whah. Not really. See, we have more of a chance of doing something if he doesn't add me. No paper trail. Digital trail. Whatever.

So, he's thinking ahead to the day he's going to fuck me. Isn't that smart.  Ha.

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I just went and retracted my friend request. Now I won't look so stupid. Although we already talked about it. Whatever.