I know why I'm getting high

My talk with Jem has loosened something else.  He remembers so much more than I do.  It's all real, I believe him, it all fits, but I don't remember it.  But its something else as well.  It's not just not remembering.  Its the perspective.  My perspective of how things were was deliberately subconsciously

OK, it's hard to record this, but I just had a dissociative moment, it's like my thoughts became teflon and not able to stick and I grab but it is all confusion.  What are we talking about?  Perspective.

Body Tremor

OKay, reread what you wrote...........bang it happens again, I can't think. wtf is going on?..................................................................................................................................

It's something about the perspective of being deliberatley evil.  That Mom and Jem shared a perspective of being deliberately bad, and she tried to

ow neck ow, searing tendon,

relax, breathe, ok,
what?

OK, no we are going to fucking do this.  Neck roll, check.  Fuck Mom.  What I am having trouble holding on to is the fact that mom ........................................................................dizzy

i dont know how to say it

mom does things that are wrong on prupose and she tried to get jem in on it and that makes me scared and andgry and sick


good. ok. done. break.