OK, so we just published the last post, but the time is going to be off because it was sitting there ???????? it was a ...... ? few hours ago? ?a few minutes ago? I'm not sure right now. yay dxm and dissociation time dilation.
OK.
So Reboot. Our mother is not on our side. she never has been. There is something wrong with her. We cannot trust her, she is (evil) untrustworthy. Her narcisisistic structure will not allow her to actually boldly steal from her children, so I am pretty sure my money(whatever the hell it is) is safe.
The Reboot means that it is a new understanding of our mother. which may not sound catyclysmic, but it is. Accepting that she likes to hurt us is life ch an g ing. It is as if the entire frame of the world is different.
We had a ritual/moment thing earlier, that's why we are writing. We wanted to be completely clean and disconnected so we unplugged everything, e v e r y t h i n g and then we sat and had , tried, did, physical reactions, sitting, to say
so we sat in a sort of lotus position on the rug in the dark room alone and totally us. And we said: Our mother and father sexually abused us when we were an infant/toddler up to 5. they may have physically abused us as well, but that is not the secret. the teenage boys who lived there, the stepsons, they sexually inserted themselves or objects or something and they hurt us, and our mother and father did not notice and may have been part of it. our mother willfully ignored the sexual abuse and allowed it to go on. she never put you in therapy or believe you in any way, but talked to when you were 5 about bad touches and bad things and that you are supposed to tell, but when you told she said it didn't happen. So you learned to become crazy. You learned how to doublethink. doublethink. doublethink. doublethink doublethink doublethink. and because your are organically brain smart, you did a wonderful job. and at 34, you broke down and went crazy sort of. and then you have been working on this for 3 and half years like a dissertation. and now you've figured it out. she mindfucked you your entire childhood into believing that it never happened. BUT IT DID.
OK.
So Reboot. Our mother is not on our side. she never has been. There is something wrong with her. We cannot trust her, she is (evil) untrustworthy. Her narcisisistic structure will not allow her to actually boldly steal from her children, so I am pretty sure my money(whatever the hell it is) is safe.
The Reboot means that it is a new understanding of our mother. which may not sound catyclysmic, but it is. Accepting that she likes to hurt us is life ch an g ing. It is as if the entire frame of the world is different.
We had a ritual/moment thing earlier, that's why we are writing. We wanted to be completely clean and disconnected so we unplugged everything, e v e r y t h i n g and then we sat and had , tried, did, physical reactions, sitting, to say
so we sat in a sort of lotus position on the rug in the dark room alone and totally us. And we said: Our mother and father sexually abused us when we were an infant/toddler up to 5. they may have physically abused us as well, but that is not the secret. the teenage boys who lived there, the stepsons, they sexually inserted themselves or objects or something and they hurt us, and our mother and father did not notice and may have been part of it. our mother willfully ignored the sexual abuse and allowed it to go on. she never put you in therapy or believe you in any way, but talked to when you were 5 about bad touches and bad things and that you are supposed to tell, but when you told she said it didn't happen. So you learned to become crazy. You learned how to doublethink. doublethink. doublethink. doublethink doublethink doublethink. and because your are organically brain smart, you did a wonderful job. and at 34, you broke down and went crazy sort of. and then you have been working on this for 3 and half years like a dissertation. and now you've figured it out. she mindfucked you your entire childhood into believing that it never happened. BUT IT DID.
IT HAPPENED.
And now the world is different.
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