OK, so another fun filled weekend of DXM and drug induced dissociation. And I have officially had enough. I freaked at 11pm last night and called both therapists and left messages and was completely out of control. Which is fine, if I weren't fucking HIGH. Actually its fine even if I was high, but it's not what I want to be doing. Summer did a great job of talking me through it last night though. She also called me on the getting high. I have to get the info when I am sober or it is tainted. I have to internally communicate everyday and accept that I have D.I.D. I have DID. I have it. I do. It's time to finally fucking accept this. It's over. It's beginnning. I have it. I have it. We have it. We have it. We have it. :)
So who's here? Gabriel, of course. He's me most of the time. Him and Victoria. And Allison Lee. And the little one with her cap of black hair. And a little boy. And a baby. Gabriel and Victoria are groups. Groups of parts? Still working it out. Allison Lee is part of Victoria. I think. She's the smiler. Real smile. Victoria is the Chesire grin. But she does it for everyone. We were doing the chesire grin at the beginning of therapy today. We were so embarrassed about calling Ryan fucking high. But he was cool with it. I love him. He is so good at his job. Yay! I am going to miss him.
So who's here? Gabriel, of course. He's me most of the time. Him and Victoria. And Allison Lee. And the little one with her cap of black hair. And a little boy. And a baby. Gabriel and Victoria are groups. Groups of parts? Still working it out. Allison Lee is part of Victoria. I think. She's the smiler. Real smile. Victoria is the Chesire grin. But she does it for everyone. We were doing the chesire grin at the beginning of therapy today. We were so embarrassed about calling Ryan fucking high. But he was cool with it. I love him. He is so good at his job. Yay! I am going to miss him.
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